Our society we often only look at the victim, because we feel sorry for them. But in my humble opinion we need to look at both. I have been going on TV shows to promote ways to stop bullying by raising our standards.
The bystander must raise his/her standards by not letting this go on in the workforce, in the school yards, in marriages, etc…
If you as a bystander would move closer to the victim, without saying one word, you alone have the ability to change the entire dynamics:
1) the victim will lose it’s gripping fear for one second by the bystander standing closer
2) the bullier will lose it’s momentum and not know how to continue bullying
You as the bystander will have helped without words in one swoop easy movement by moving physically closer. How powerful is that for both!
Each party has fears to overcome… the bullier and the victim.
As an ex-victim I wish someone would of done that for me, way back when.
The victim also needs to understand that the bully is attacking the uniqueness of the victim.
My message is clear; start to embrace who you are and when you do the world around you changes.
It will be a beautiful kaleidoscope of colours and possibilities…